On Pweb, there is a budding writer's club.  Actually, they/we lack direction.  In an attempt to get things going, I decided to put myself out there and assign a simple task.  To be fair, it seemed like I should have to do it as well.  Who knows if anyone else will bite.

Anyway.  What I said was, "Taking into consideration the different needs in a short story and in a novel, come up with three different "first lines" for each. Make them interesting enough to cause someone to keep reading, and remember -- you've got less time to hook your audience in a short story."

They're actually two very different media.  I've heard that with a novel, you've got two or three pages of a grace period with your audience.  If you haven't hooked them by then, they'll likely put it back on the bookshelf at Barnes and Noble.  With short stories, that shrinks to something like two paragraphs. 

Obviously, the honeymoon for a short story is miniscule.  Thus, the first lines must impactful in a large way.

The following is my meager attempt.  Please note that it is well past my bedtime and so if they suck -- lie to me.  Oh, and if one strikes a chord with you, let me know.  I just may write the whole danged story and let you read it someday.  Wouldn't you be so lucky?

Novels:

1) Angel touched the flower and it cried, the color slowly melting from its petals like hot wax from a candle.

2) Darin tightened his tie in front of the mirror, making sure that the Windsor knot was perfect and shapely, wondering how long it would take someone to find him if he tied the other end to a ceiling beam and swan dove off the second floor balcony.

3) The motel parking lot glowed under the neon vacancy sign and the air stunk of sewer, but the Sisters could think of nothing but room 113 and what was being born inside.

Short Stories:

1) He watched Nora from the shadows, holding his breath, waiting for her to unlock her car and get in.

2) I would have gotten the tattoo across my face just for the chance at seeing her tits, but I decided in the end that awkward family Christmas parties weren't worth it.

3) "Open your eyes child," Rana said.  "Open them and breathe again."

Hmm.  I feel like I may have learned something already.  Perhaps there isn't as big of a difference in first lines of novels and short stories as I thought.  True -- the pacing needs to be appropriate, but the line itself should still be gripping, interesting, and get the plot rolling.

 

WoW! I liked 2 and 3 of the novels and 1 and 2 of the short stories. They were all good but those are my favorite!
Personally I always find that if the book doesn't grab me in the first paragraph I put it back on the shelf!
I still have to let you read my writings from 8th grade. They are too funny! I think you have inspired me to write again, of course we shall see how long that lasts

O, I love reading your stuff! It always grabs me and pulls me in so many different directions. You have such a great talent for writing!

For the novels, the first one's imagery is so wonderful that it makes me want to read further. The second is even better. It makes me want to know more about the character, I guess because I can relate to him in so many ways - funny how one sentence can do that, but I've been there so many times! I would really like to know more about him. The third, eh, it's ok. Compared to the second, it just gets blown away. That might be why I don't like it as much.

For the short stories, the first is interesting. Kind of predictable in a way, but that's what makes it interesting. It makes you wonder if you were right. Didn't like the second one. The third makes you wonder so many things about what's going on. I liked it

I'm the kind of person, however, who will give a novel the benefit of the doubt. There is one book I couldn't get through - Congo. I gave it 150 pgs of my time, and found I watched the movie instead. It might take me awhile, but I give it AT LEAST 50 pgs before I give up.

You know that I love reading your work, so pass it by me anytime!

Yeah, about that it has been tough for me to get it going without a constent internet connection. I will work on it more, when I see you online again. I am glad you started something, though.

BTW, I should start to update my journal more frequently.

I still can't wait for the weekly story time... that was a weekly highlight last summer.